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The fact that his "ex" GF is relocating to be with/near him doesn't sound at all kosher. His communication skills sound suspect. Does she even know he's thinking about making her his "ex?" blonde search sex He be looking for an OW to help him through a breakup he should be handling himself. Or he just be looking for a FWB or a FB. Either way, if he needs a sympathetic ear, he should a counselor. I'd keep dating others. Why consider a rl with a who tells you straight up he's emotionally unavailable? He doesn't want to lose you, but he's not ready for a rl? That sounds like a "hold" button to me, and I wouldn't go there.
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Most of the things you are saying you about her are about appearance and sexiness. These are not the things to build a life together on, because appearance changes over time and sexiness gets taken for granted. For the haul, you need someone you can accept exactly as is without needing to change them. And perceiving her as rather a lazy homebody isn't gonna help if you want an active, outgoing partner. Craving another body type is trivial shit in the scheme of things. Most of us mature over time and realize we never get next to every body type or look that is attractive to us. But then again, most of us did some experimenting early in our lives so that we know from experience that the character, attitude, and lovingness of the bed partner matter far more than their looks and shape, within reason. If you're already having these doubts nine months in, and this is your first relationship, you probably should at some point break up and both do some experimenting before trying to commit to anyone for life. Beats the hell out of feeling you settled too and eventually having an affair or two to find out whether you're missing something crucial. But stay together for a while yet and savor the you have already found. Just don't get pregnant or hitched.
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First, they didn’t buy more than they could afford. When JunctioncCity they agreed to take on these debt obligations, they were making a sufficient income to support them, thus, there weren’t intentionally going into a black hole of debt with their eyes closed going weeeeeeeeee. I don’t find their mortgage obscene, it’s what they could, at the time afford. I also find it somewhat pathetic that you need to interject that opinion. I’d that if you get to the point in your life where you feel justified that you have reached a plateau in your life and would like to reward yourself with a nice home when you are close to retirement, that people not judge you harshly for it if your circumstances suddenly change. Keep in mind, they not only lost of his income, which is substantial, but his entire retirement nest egg, and after a 30 year career in finance I can guarantee that was far more devastating. That sort of change in circumstance is why the bankruptcy laws exist in the first place. I can also practiy guarantee you that they are not going to get away from their debt free and clear. They be asked to repay significant portions of their debt. No bankruptcy judge is going to allow someone who makes that much money to just walk away. They allow them to restructure, catch their breath, pull back on the fees and move forward. And a few notes…. Sell the BMW. Buy a Honda. Great idea, if the car isn’t financed to the hilt and upside down. If it is, time to send it back to the bank. Sell the condo and downsize. Great idea, but they are k upside down in a bad market (take a minute to goodle Las Vegas Real-estate prices today vs. if you doubt the claim. ) Did they make mistakes, your fuckin’ a they did. And they pay for them. Their retirement is gone, their lives are profoundly changed. Don’t fault them because YOU can’t afford their lifestyle. I feel for the situation they are in, I can’t imagine being that age and having no idea if I ever be able to retire. It really is simple math, when your debts outstrip your assets and your ability to repay, its likely time to look into bankruptcy. Especially these days when creditors won’t even talk to you until you tell them you are about to seek bankruptcy protection. Over her condition, that limits her, affected the both of you, so ? You're heart is somewhere now You waited, tried, but the two of you could not find the emotional language, reason, that woke her up, to a normal, living I can only think, that some type of compassionate understanding, medical referencing, or talking to her family about her moving forward with compassionate therapy, to improve the quality of life,s o that she might live her potential would be the nicest gift. If she is working, as you say - then she can talk care of herself I would think of course, that you retire any debt, credit cards, cars, etc.,- and take care, sell, or sell her, the home if you had one In our best and honorable intentions, we just don't know, foresee what a person be, act like, or be affected by years in the future. That's not you fault. I in a few years, you can meet her on the street, and she can tell you that things have changed, understanding, new tools emotionally to have made real changes that have her daily life, in a much more place. In that moment, you can't fake it, your eyes tell her everything, that you once loved her, still do, and care for her well being and happiness.
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